[random thoughts]

Is this really me? Am I happy with who I am, or am I aspiring to change the world? These thoughts have been running through my head constantly, like a little kid asking the grumbling father if they are there yet on a long car ride. I've been feeling really lethargic lately, just in my own little bubble of insecurity and self-doubt, and trying to make things better by doing them my way, not God's way. It's been really affecting me lately, and its something I need to let go and let God in control.

I was reading Mark a few nights ago, and it really struck me. The Pharisees were trying so hard to build themselves up, to make them holier, and to make them well known. It sounds a lot like our culture today, doesn't it? Magazines, shows, music, beauty products...the list goes on. Businesses now and day thrive on making the consumer better, when really tying back their hands with compromise and the things unseen. But that is not what we are called to do. In a world where their goal is to build their ego up, we must be the ones to fall on our knees.