kicking insecurity out of my heart.

This week I have decided to fast something that I've held on for awhile. It's held me captive, wounded me,  and I'm ready to say adios to it. Guess what it is?

Give up? It's insecurity. 

So many times our society becomes insecure of who we are and where we stand. Look at our culture: businesses thrive on our insecurities. Beauty companies such as Covergirl and Mac thrive on our insecurities, assuring us that the extra coat of lip gloss and another thirty minutes in the mirror will make us feel beautiful, that what they offer will somehow fill the void in our heart. Fast food companies such as Burger King encourage us to buy their products with the promise that we can "have it our way." Music artists write songs about feeling beautiful with their designer products, boys hounding them, and that perfect car.

I am a victim of insecurity. I can't leave the house without making sure my hair and my lip gloss looks perfect. I spend hours dreaming about what to wear the next day. In choir, I ask my friends to make sure my voice sounds great. I'm tired of the restlessness and feelings of worthlessness that roots from insecurity, so to be transparent, I'm kicking it out of my heart. Only God can fill the void in your heart. Only in God can you realize how beautiful and special you are. You are worth dying for! When you allow God to fill your heart, you realize that His love is crazy, relentless, and all-powerful, and once you experience Him, He fills your heart so much that there is no room for insecurity.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?" Matthew 6:25


"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,  I know that full well." Psalm 139:14


God has handwoven us with beauty both inside and out. Worldly beauty only exists externally, but God searches the heart for beauty. I want to spend my time asking God to train me to be a woman of the Lord rather than focusing on insecurity and what I can do to improve myself externally. I want to be reading Scriptures and staying close to God, rather than worrying about I'll wear the next day. I trust God that He will provide for me. You are more than insecurity. You are  more than your hairstyle. You are more than every negative thought that you've ever thought about yourself. Maybe you are sitting here wondering why you are here, but I want you to know that it is no accident. God has a reason why you're here and He is standing here, arms wide open. It's up to you to make that choice to run in His arms, a place where you receive freedom from every insecurity. God created you beautiful both inside and out and nobody could ever take that away. No matter what you've done or how far you've wondered, God is here and loves you more than anything else in this world.

As for my fast, I couldn't be more excited. In my fast, every time I feel insecure or have a bad thought about myself, I'm going to read Psalm 139 and remember that I am a child of promise, a daughter of the King. God made a giant sacrifice so that I might live and I'm not going to let insecurity hinder me from the wonderful life He has given me. As Beth Moore writes in her book, So Long Insecurity: You've been a bad friend to us, "We're going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us."

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