Warning:This isn't an all out tearjerker story. It's simply the love story between me and my Savior, and how He found me when I was in ruin. As long as I can remember, my family went to church on Sundays. I was comfortable and blissfully content with everything around me. But for me, I wasn't encountering a tangible relationship with God. I was living in my own world full of selfishness. In my sixth grade year, I started doing and saying things that were sinful, wrong, and degrading. My sister Jayden got diagnosed with Leukemia, and it changed me. Friends started not acting friendly. And I was scared of the future. In the chaos, I tried to make things better by doing them my way. I became tied back with compromise, haunted by memories, and in bondage because of the darkness of my past. I was in a state of just wanting to feel something, because my body was numb to the hurt of this world. I was depressed.
My life got changed in March 2010. Finally, as messages of hope were being proclaimed and a nation of passionate world changers being raised up, I was getting it! It wasn't about being perfect, it was about seeking and knowing God and embracing His Love! A few weeks ago, I made the conscious decision to regive my life to Jesus. I still remember that altar call that night. It was hard admitting to the whole church family that even though I held several leadership positions, I was doing things wrong. It's strange-- they always talk about the bride of Christ, so I guess that the altar call is like the walk down the aisle to meet your beloved. I felt so loved that night as my small group embraced me, tears fell down my face, and I went on my knees to meet Jesus. I know I'm still a sinner, I know my faults are many, but I also know that I am loved my a flawless God and a family of believers. For me, this will always be enough. God has never left me. His Grace has ran through every depression, contemplated eating disorder, and every tear that has fallen on my face. He has been strong enough in my weaknesses, sufficient enough in my temptations. My prayer is that God would take this little piece of faith that I am holding on to and use every vein in my body to worship Him.
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