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Sunday, May 1, 2011

(Journal of a willing heart)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters." Colossians 3:23


I've heard this verse my whole life, and yet I still struggle on how to live it out. I still moan and groan about the smallest things, like taking care of the puppy or doing the chores. I want to change. My heart desires to make His Kingdom come, but my feet say my will be done. I'm so tired of living for myself. I don't know when my last day will be on this Earth, and I certainty don't want to spend my whole life being alone and selfish. I want every moment of my life be lived selflessly. Relationships form when I'm willing to give. Hope forms when I'm willing to give. But most importantly:
Life begins when I'm willing to give.
Instead of closed fists, I want open hands. Instead of selfishness and envy, I want humbleness and compassion. Focusing on myself will never reveal my purpose. It is only in serving God that I receive my identity, meaning, purpose, significance, and my destiny. God, you're all I want, all I need, you're simply e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g! Everything I'm not, everything You are. I want to be humbled beyond anything I could ever imagine so that all I can see is You.
"Into Your Hands I commend my Spirit..."
Maybe at the end of this life I'll be bruised, bloody, hurt, abandoned, persecuted, hungry, homeless, broken, or beaten, but if it means getting closer to God then bring it on. Bring on the fire, flames, famine,  and anything else, for if I am worthy enough to bear the very sufferings that Christ endured to save me, a sinner, than I will be more than willing to suffer for Christ with a joyful, abundant heart.

2 comments:

Avers90 said...

Amen sister! This is what life is all about. Don't worry about the hard times that will soon follow for God has already fought those battles for you. Stick close to the Savior.

Rachel said...

wow.. I watched that video and .. I have been a Christian since I was little. ..but this video..made it really make sense to me.
I agree with you that one line was powerful, "The same breath of life He graciously gave us we used to curse Him."

I have a puppy right now too! He is a 5 month old yellow lab. That is a great example of how much we need God. ..yet we do not realize until he is 'gone.'