*Sorry I had to delete the original post, the font was being funky.*
I was watching the movie Good Burger last night on Nick at Night. I was watching the part where they get locked in a mental hospital and it was very hard to get out, when I could relate it to myself. What am I doing that is keeping me in this mental hospital? Why can't I get out of my comfort zone and just tell the world about Christ Jesus? Why am I still trapped, no matter how long I think I am done waiting? I feel trapped in the world and I feel like a little doll on a shelf, just begging to get out. I want to stop gossiping, but what am I doing to just stop? Am I all talk and no walk? I want to stop complaining about school, but on a weekend you could write an essay about how much school sucks and why they shouldn't give homework over the weekend. I want to be content with my body self, but why do I keep looking my self in the mirror; and instead of worshiping God, why am I adjusting my jeans or moving my hair around? Why am I so afraid of my social status that is keeping me away from loving people. No more shall I care about these, I am making a commitment not to 1) gossip about people. It hurts so many people and the people that they don't even know that they are being gossiped about just live their life and it hurts myself so I am just quitting. It will be hard but if my friends were real friends they won't care. It's going to be an internal struggle for me, but through God all things are possible. 2) I am going to focus more in school and stop complaining. Sometimes I just complain for the heck of things, but no longer. I will be focused and committed to getting good grades and eventually going to college for either singing, ballet dancing, becoming a Christian author, or helping people with Down Syndrome. I will remain with A's or high B's and I will try my best to stay focused during school to get my education.3) I will finally make body peace with myself. I will no longer look in the mirror as much as I used to, because BEAUTY FADES AWAY. When beauty fades away, what will you have? I want to be filled to the brim, overfilled, with the Holy Spirit. I want to no longer care about how blond my hair is, I want to focus on people who need a friend. People who need love. 4) No more social status fears. I want to take up my cross, and let go of caring of fitting in with the popular crowd. I need to be happy with the friends I have, friends who have proven that they care and are going to have my back. You know who you are. (: I need to be happy with that and love on the people who don't have any friends, and don't know what love is or what even God is. I won't care what I look like as I worship anymore because I am worshiping to glorify God not to wear a mask and care about other things then God's glory. I am going to get Undignified as I worship God and I spread God's love throughout the world.
Goodbye old Julia; hello new Julia.
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